I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize