and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
