Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
