im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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