these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
