Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
