Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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