you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
