ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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