I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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