I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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