Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
