Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize