I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
