That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
