the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
