Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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