Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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