Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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