What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This house was built for laser tag.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
