apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
