Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
