whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize