Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
