FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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