Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize