What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
