just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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