For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
