what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
