Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize