Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
