Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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