DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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