so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
