So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
