U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
