I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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