Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
