I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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