It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize