I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
