Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize