At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize