Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
