I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
