After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
