There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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