so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
