I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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