I'm jealous of your bromance
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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