D3 body, D1 cock
now i know why i became what i already was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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