I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
