I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
