I hate all girls vehemently.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need a burrito and a hug.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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