I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
