Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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