I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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