I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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