we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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