HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
