the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just high enough for therapy.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
