You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
