Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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