So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
