i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
