Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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