So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Holy shit dude........stairs
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