Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
