I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
