There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
